Last night I dreamed I lost my ballerina and went in search of her. I came to a pyramid in the middle of the desert, where my beloved waited for me. Row after row of ninjas stood in front of the pyramid, weapons ready. A wizard appeared and gestured toward the pyramid with his staff.

“There she is, my son!” the wizard cried. “The girl of your dreams! And you can have her! But first you have to fight all of these ninjas!”

I don’t even know how to fight video game ninjas. Remember Mortal Kombat? I sucked at that game.

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