Last night I dreamed I was a pig with a backpack full of food. I was being chased by wolves and the food kept falling out, but they wouldn’t stop chasing me to eat it. I had a kielbasa in my hand, and I think that’s what they wanted. I kept trying to drop it so they would stop chasing me, but someone had super glued it to my hand.

Who keeps pizza in their backpack, anyway?

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