Squash Stack Studio

Last night I dreamed I was accepted at Warthog’s, a school for wizards and witches. I was super excited until I met the professors. The Headmaster claims he has two brains, but really, I think he has encephalitis. The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor looks like he’s fourteen, and I swear he’s delivered pizzas to my apartment before. The Professor of Divination is a whacked-out hippie with too many cats, and the Professor of Necromancy is a drag queen, which would be fine except he never shaves, and his wig is painfully fake.

Father wanted me to study law. Maybe he was right.