Squash Stack Studio

Well, Barbara, we’re three bouts into this round and have yet to see any actual fencing. Fourth time’s the charm, I hope?

Next up are Cave-Bat and Luigi Samele.

Referee Bidness cries “Fence!” and Samele is off the line with a quick and easy touch to the mask, scoring the first point of this bout – heck, this might be the first point scored all day!

And now Cave-Bat – oh my God! Barbara, Cave-Bat has turned into some kind of Man-Bat and is flying at Samele! Dear God, look at those vampire fangs!

Wait, there’s also a disturbance in the audience! The woman who’s been drinking out of an Erlenmeyer flask has transformed into some kind of Woman-Fly!

The Man-Bat changes direction and attacks the Woman-Fly!

Wait, there’s another disturbance from the piste! Here comes Bunny-Man leading a pack of other Bunny-Men – call him Echo, I guess? – and bunnies! They have Easter eggs! I’m so confused, Barbara – it’s November!

Here comes Animal Control to deal with the bunny problem!

And who is this just emerging into the hall? It’s the famous mad scientist Professor Geryon and his laboratory assistant wielding a harpoon and a baseball bat! They look like they mean business!

They’re wrestling the Woman-Fly into submission! It makes sense now, Barbara – that must have been one of Professor Geryon’s notorious shape-changing potions she was drinking from the Erlenmeyer flask.

Now the Man-Bat is after Professor Geryon! He has him down on the ground! I can’t imagine what the Man-Bat’s bite would do to Professor Geryon, with all the chemicals, radiation, and viruses the professor already exposes himself to in his research!

Here comes Animal Control to the rescue! This tournament is certainly keeping them busy!

Barbara, it looks like Animal Control finally has the situation under control. The Man-Bat and all the Bunny-Men are in shackles.

That just leaves Professor Geryon – who appears to be taking a big swig of his own potion from the Erlenmeyer flask. Someone call Security before he turns into a Man-Fly – or worse! Let’s cut to commercial.