Squash Stack Studio

Okay, back again. We still don’t have a single completed bout, Barbara. I guess we’ll keep trying.

Next up is Mer-Bat representing the Bat-Verse against … really?! Why is Dr. Stephan Brixinit still on the roster? He’s got an alien puppet master parasite glued to his head, presumably digesting his brains right now! He’s in no condition to fence, Barbara! And with Mer-Bat in his giant war machine – this just isn’t happening.

It looks like Referee Bidness agrees! He’s shaking his head saying this bout cannot proceed! Wait a minute! Here comes the guy with crutches from the audience to consult with Referee Bidness. It looks like – he’s volunteering? This guy’s in no better shape to face of against a giant war machine than Dr. Brixinit!

The referee is consulting with Hic et Nunc team captain Rossella Fiamingo. Looks like she’ll allow it! They’re definitely short-handed on Hic et Nunc, and I suspect they’re waiting to play their trump card – a certain Ibtihaj Muhammed.

Okay, here we go. Mer-Bat in his giant robot versus – Jeez, I don’t even know this guy’s name. Crutches Guy, I guess.

Crutches Guy salutes his opponent with a crutch – is he planning to fence with that thing? What is this competition coming to?

Referee Bidness cries “Fence!” – and oh my God, the Mer-Bat war mech is down! It looks like it slipped and fell on the piste! The tank is broken, and Mer-Bat is flailing around in what little water remains. I hope he doesn’t drown in all this air!

What a mess! The war mech is ruined and there’s water everywhere.

Here comes the janitor to mop up – poor guy; it’s been a rough competition for him, too!

Here comes Bat-Jerk with Bat-Verse team lawyer Bat-Wiz! Wait a minute! Crutches Guy has removed his bandage and cast! It’s the Knight of the Banana Peel! Well, that explains everything! Every time someone faces off against this mysterious warrior from Camelot, they fall on their you-know-what. Looks like Bat-Jerk has a fistful of cash – is he trying to bribe Hic et Nunc into conceding?

Rossella Fiamingo doesn’t look happy; let’s get closer. I think I can hear what they’re saying. It sounds like Rossella Fiamingo has thrown Bat-Jerk’s logic in his own face! Remember, the Bat-Verse team challenged Camelot’s right to be part of the CrossPlanar League because of their historical existence here on Earth? That means the Knight of the Banana Peel is technically a member of the InterChron League! Rossella Fiamingo has formally named the Knight of the Banana Peel a member of the Hic et Nunc team. Well this is a little irregular – I think technically he belongs on Yestermorrow – but what’s been regular about any part of this competition?

It’s official – the judges are calling the bout for Hic et Nunc! Finally, a score!