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Let’s introduce the next competitors. Here’s King Tut for the Necromites, and Sir Sagramore, the most ferocious and blood-thirsty of King Arthur’s knights. It is fitting he wears the emblem of the bear on his shield; rumor has it he may be a lycanthrope!

The referee calls “Fence!” and King Tut is off the line with lightning speed, scoring a direct hit on Sir Sagramore! The mummy lord’s golden khopesh draws blood!

This may have been a mistake, Barbara; Sir Sagramore suddenly throws down his sword, shield, and helmet! He is transforming into a were-beast and has sprouted long claws! With a wild howl he throws himself at King Tut!

It looks like Sagramore isn’t the only beast-man in the room – King Tut suddenly sprouts a falcon’s head and wings and the two go at it – well, like animals, I guess.

It seems I’m not the only one to draw the comparison, Barbara! Here comes Animal Control waving nets and tranquilizer darts in an effort to contain these beasts! The fur and feathers are flying! I can’t watch; cut to commercial!