Squash Stack Studio

We’re finally getting down to it, Barbara! This is the last scheduled bout of this competition and currently Hic et Nunc is leading the Bat-Verse 1-0. If Bat-Verse can pull off this bout, we’ll have a tiebreaker – and if not, it’s the trophy for Hic et Nunc! It’s been a long and rocky road to get here; let’s hope we can make it to the finish line!

This should be a remarkable bout! On the line are Bat-Jerk, team captain of the Bat-Verse team, and renowned fencer Ibtihaj Muhammed of Hic et Nunc!

At the cry of “Fence!” Muhammed launches a stunning attack – and Bat-Jerk swiftly retreats, refusing to engage! He’s nearly at the runoff! Wait, a briefcase has appeared in front of him – a massive cloud of cash emerges, filling the piste and blinding Ibtihaj Muhammed!

She’s fighting her way through it – I wonder if Bat-Jerk thinks she’s going to be distracted and stop to fill her pockets? She’s through and lands a solid cut to the mask! Point to Hic et Nunc!

Well, we need to pause a moment while the janitor sweeps up the huge pile of cash everywhere – that stuff is a real slipping hazard on the metal piste.

Wait a minute, it looks like Bat-Jerk is trying to pay off the referee?

Security isn’t having it! Here they come with their laser pistols leveled – oh dear God! Bat-Wiz has waved his magic staff and turned the security guards into bats! Well, there they go, Barbara!

I guess we’re fencing again! Hopefully a nice clean bout!

Referee Bidness cries “Fence!” and Muhammed is off the line with a cut to five, an early parry by Bat-Jerk, riposte, a nice parry from Muhammed right on the guard, a stunning counter-attack to five – point to Hic et Nunc! 2-0!

Lots of back and forth now, Barbara! Bat-Jerk rallies, scoring a couple clean touches. Now Muhammed takes over again – oops, there’s a touch to Hic et Nunc! The score is now four-all, one touch left to decide the bout!

Muhammed has the advantage; she’s driving Bat-Jerk down the piste! If he would just let go of that fistful of cash, he might have better balance! She’s keeping up the pressure; it’s all he can do to parry her attacks! She beats his blade aside – he’s in the runoff zone! She lunges and misses! Heartbreaking!

Back to the en garde line! Now its Bat-Jerk with a strong cut, late parry from Muhammed, they lock guards, Muhammed feints to seconde, then traces and finishes with a powerful lunge-cut to five! Point to Hic et Nunc! That’s the bout for Ibtihaj Muhammed and the championship for Hic et Nunc!

The fans are going wild, and I can’t blame them, Barbara! This team has gone through a lot of hardship to get here! Congratulations to Ibtihaj Muhammed, team captain Rossella Fiamingo, and all of Hic et Nunc for a championship well won!